I think I can speak for most when I say 2020 was a hard year. Lots of adjustments, loss, hurt, frustration. Although 2020 was tough for me at times, it wasn’t all bad. After discovering my full brother Nico in 2019, we decided that it was time to figure out who our Birth Father was.
Buckle up.
For the privacy of everyone involved, I have changed some of the names in my story.
In October of 2019, I started messaging relatives on Ancestry (2nd & 3rd cousins). I simply explained that I was adopted, and was looking for more information about my biological family.
Two people in particular were kind enough to help me. I gave Becki all the info I had, and we went to work. We exchanged contact info, and for about a week straight we were building family trees and researching obituaries. We stayed up very late most nights emailing back and forth. Karla was the other family member who dropped some hints. She thought she knew who my biological father was, but didn't want to start any trouble. Totally understandable.
After endless nights, Becki and I narrowed it down to a few people. One man in particular made the most sense. I told Karla that I figured it out, and she replied, “How’d you know?!” Confirming that he was the guy. (In my next life I will be a private investigator.)
After speaking with Nico, we decided to draft a letter to our biological Father, Karl and sent it via certified mail. We stated that we thought we were “closely” related to him, and added our contact info at the bottom.
Then, we waited.
I was quite surprised when I received an email from Karl shortly after the letter was delivered, it started with “WOW.” A few days later, Karl, Nico and I jumped on a three way phone call. Karl was never notified about our births. We all live within two hours of each other.
The phone call started with, “When the first child was born..” I think my jaw actually dropped to the floor. Turns out there was another child born before me, in 1992. All we know is that he’s a boy. Eventually I hope to meet him one day, but for now, I am content with getting to know my new extended family.
Nico and I met Karl separately. For me personally, this was how I wanted to do it. We met at an Italian restaurant, and my Mom came with me. (The Mother who raised me) My Mom has obviously been in my life since the beginning, and I wanted to share this moment with her. The dinner went great, and had a lot of questions answered. We found out that Karl and I would be in Park City, Utah at the same exact time. We ended up meeting up and skiing together. Turns out, Karl is also a pilot, and has his own plane.
Karl’s parents are both still alive and well, my biological Grandfather is a talented painter. I get my height from my biological Grandmother, she’s 6’1”. Karl also has a sister, who has a daughter, Dani. Dani was the only grandchild before Nico and I came along.
This took a while to digest, and almost a year later, it’s still hard to believe this is real life. My parents who raised me will forever be Mom and Dad. I am very fortunate - I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. They have been great and very supportive through this entire process. Nico, Karl and the rest of my new extended family have been a great addition, and I can’t wait to see where life takes us.
I am sure there will be more to come..